Whenever shall we meet again

"Whenever shall we meet again?"
"In thunder, lightning or in rain,"
"When the hurly-burly's done,"
"When the battle's lost or won..."

This is the question I would like to ask Chris. "Whenever shall we meet again?" He hurt me more than any other human being has ever hurt me. I would be lying to myself if I didn't say that.
But it's over. And I've moved on, and so is he. I forgave him, gave him his things back. It was hard, very hard to pack that box. It was also hard, very hard to take the glass rose from him. So hard. Every time I looked at it...it hurt. Every time I saw him, it hurt. Every time I saw myself, it began to hurt. It hurt so much I stopped wiping the tears away. It hurt so much that pain became part of my daily life.

But it's all over now, and I am fine, and I am alive.

But the hurly-burly isn't done. There's still drama, which I have described in a previous posting, I suppose. The battle isn't really a battle...but it is a skirmish. And the more I learn about the two of them the more I wish I'd stayed out of it. I can't get pulled back into this drama.

He told her all the same things he told me. He told me once that he'd liked me for years but was unable to say anything because of loyalties and the such. But he told her that too....

Does she really love him, or does she feel like she owes him something? Do they really compliment each other, or will they be simply pooling their pain together because misery loves company? Do they both really seek Jesus? When I was with Chris...I "prayed" more, but my personal relationship with God actually was strung thin. I was further from God than ever. Is she seeking Jesus because Chris is a gung-ho Christian? How long before they both make the same mistakes? GOOD GOD, WHAT CAN I DO!? There's nothing. I am helpless in this.

God, take care of them. However in love they might be...take care of them and let them see YOUR WILL and not THEIR WILL. Give them signs and miracles. Speak to them in their dreams. Send angels to guard them against the demons that live inside them. Depression, lust, hate, anger, things I experienced last time.

And good Lord, help me to put all of this behind me, so it will become like a nightmare I can't remember. I will always know I was shaken. Help me to let it go. Don't let this drama crap suck me back in again.

Love yielded pain, because it was false and I believed it.
Yet Jesus pain yielded my love and healing. Yet it is true, and still sometimes I'm shaken enough to doubt it...

Fair is foul. Foul is fair. Hover through fog and filthy air.