Latest updates? Nah. I'll just tell you the story of a person who was a Druid. This particular Druid made certain that all the other druids were jealous by being the best druid of them all. Does this make the Druid a bad person? His modivation for being what he could be was not the best kind of modivation, but it was modivation.

In a different light, I'd like to say that I don't know just how fair foul is or how foul fair is, but there's something out there and it's got my attention. God works in extremely mysterious ways, and just when you think one thing is happening, the exact opposite happens. For example, if I was running and praying for healing for someone, and God asked me to witness to someone the Gospel...and I hesitated until the person left, but stopped hesitating when I thought that my calling at that time had the possible reward of my prayer being answered. This opened my eyes to how impious and disgusting my own personal belief is. I should love for love's sake, witness for love's sake and live for love's sake...directly, not indirectly.

I am annoyed by "new blogger"

And then there is the refraction of him. He pushed, he ran, he broke down, he failed, he accepted and finally he was given another chance. That is it in a nutshell anyway. I should be more elated than I am. I am happy for him. I am happy that his life has some direction, some meaning, when he claimed before that it had none. Yet I wonder, just how foul can this fairness be? How much more responsibility has he now than before I knew him. How much more ambiguity must I bring about in my life now or I will be a betrayer. Can measurement be put on one's love for another person? Is any amount of love ever enough? If I love him, then I love him. Should I love only him? How committed should I be? I am young yet, correct? I know how my parent's feel...they're edging me toward the door in hopes that I will be going on dates left and right with many different people, but at the same time they raised me not to be that kind of girl. Does it matter what they want at this point anyway? Not really, except I haven't really thought about what I want before. After spending years living up to other people's expectations, I don't think I'm ready to make decisions for myself.

And then I have to examine just when did the human race ever have to make decisions for itself? With every great calamity people have either laid down to die or risen to the occasion of work and living only to the extent to which they must survive. Quality of life, for most people, assuming "most people" spans the strata of history and bredth of the world, spend their lives trying to merely live. The decisions I find myself in a quandry over are pointless. Because as we know, foul is fair and fair is foul, so therefore the second we think we can make decisions, they're all taken away from us anyway in some great catastrophic event. Generally. But what about when someone decides to make the decision to give up the right to make decisions about the quality of life and join in the struggle for survival? Who would make such a decision? Why? When it gets down to it, it's not about us.

That's the greatest thing about stress. None of it matters. Nothing in this life really does matter. Because what is, simply is. And what isn't, isn't. It's not about us. Our decisions don't really matter. It isn't about following a series of clues laid down by a Divine being. It isn't about what we want or desire to do. Even though we do have "free will" the only choice we really have in life is whether we will enjoy it or not. And for me, I hope that I am ethical enough to feel that the only way I can enjoy life is if I am helping others who cannot realize that they can.




only then can I manipulate the masses into following me and my criminal mastermind.
my plot to take over the world shall be complete.